AWARD-WINNING SONGWRITER / 09 JUNO AWARD NOMINATED COUNTRY RECORDING ARTIST / ENTREPRENEUR / COMPOSER / LIGHTWORKER / TRAUMA & ENERGY HEALER / SPIRITUAL EXPLORER / MOTIVATIONAL SUPPORT / WORKSHOP PRESENTER & SPEAKER / HUMANITARIAN / MOTHER / LOVE ADVOCATE / COSMIC BEING / EMPATH
I AM proud to announce the upcoming launch “Spiritual Road to Self-Love” - Trauma & Energy Based Healing Services. I am an open book with an open heart. I feel it’s important to share and offer insight into my story and learned perspective leading up to the launch date. This new chapter begins here:
TRACY BONE aka: "KEEPS THE FIRE" (Lakota Name)
~09 Juno Award Nominated Country Recording Artist marries Story Telling and song with Spiritual Healing Wisdom accumulated over her 7 year personal Healing Journey from: Co-dependency, Sexual/Emotional/Physical Abuse, Intergenerational Trauma (Residential/Indian Boarding Schools) including but not limited to issues of. abandonment, trust, low self-esteem/confidence, finding life purpose, forgiveness, building healthy relationships and addiction.❤
**More details to come: Presentations/Workshops/Live Performance/Talking Circles
**One Time or On-going Services will be Available to: Groups & Individuals (one-on-one)
**Inquire confidentially by email: firstname.lastname@example.org
**Co-create Plans with Clients
**Light worker (definition): The purpose of a Light worker is to wake up the people that inhabit this beautiful planet and connect them with their true Divine spirit. Their role is to teach “Oneness” and close the separation gap that occurs when people forget that they are spiritual beings having a physical experience and not the other way around.
~I can’t “make” anyone love me anymore than I can “make” anyone love him or herself. True love cannot exist where control resides. It is the highest energetic vibration of awareness that we consciously respond to by sharing the fullness of respect, worthiness, belief and appreciation one has for self. It is my choice and responsibility to love me just as it is yours to love you…it is than that we fully reclaim our power while simultaneously contributing to the healing of the collective. past, present and future. ~ TB
My names are Tracy Bone and Peta Awanyanke – my Lakota name translates to “Keeps The Fire” which honourably speaks to my Life Purpose. I have been determined, guided and focused on healing myself for nearly 7 years. January 2020 marks the completion of that cycle. I chose this courageously terrifying journey because I wanted to learn how to break the cycle of dysfunction. I was willing to do whatever it took to be a healthy minded person not knowing a thing about what that would ask of me. To heal all my wounds that I had yet to uncover so I could someday grow into an empowered Woman and Mother that my children and I could depend on and be proud of. Initially, all I honestly wanted to do was go through the steps and motions I needed to in order to not lose control of my life as I had been living it. Thinking if I went through the motions that after a short time I would be healthy enough to return and all would be intact, but better. I somewhat reluctantly took my first step out of pure co-dependent fear. Over the years I found that Co-dependency isn’t something many have heard of or have ever considered might be affecting their lives and relationships. It was foreign to me as well. Co-dependency is defined as “any” relationship in which two people become so invested in each other that they can’t function independently anymore. Your mood, happiness AND identity are defined by the other person. There is usually one person who is more passive and can’t make decisions for themselves, and a more dominant personality who gets some reward and satisfaction from controlling the other person and making decisions about how they will live.
Some signs of Co-dependency are:
1. Having difficulty identifying your feelings
2. Having difficulty communicating in relationships
3. Lacking trust in yourself and having poor self-esteem
4. Having fears of abandonment or an obsessive need for approval & control
5. Having an unhealthy dependence on relationships, even at your own cost
6. Having an exaggerated sense of responsibility for the actions of others
My journey initially began with a tough 30-day detox from the Life and ALL I knew as a Woman, Mother, Artist, Partner in a long-term relationship & Employee who was confusingly entangled in Co-dependency in addition to other deeply rooted inner child wounding. I left the Country and headed south with my ceremonially adopted sister to Oglala on the Pine Ridge Reservation to begin to learn to focus on myself and heal.
Over the years of discovery I found I had Abandonment, Self-Worth, Self-Esteem, Self-Confidence and Control Issues. These stemmed from the hindrance to the healthy development process by the Indian Residential School system’s mandate that both my Grandmothers lived through as well as any trauma my Paternal Grandfather accumulated as a Soldier/War Veteran. Any childhood wounding and trauma all my beautiful Grandparents experienced unfortunately eclipsed their full deserving potential of healthy emotional fertility. Yet they were strong, resilient and courageous role models through it all. I learned more about my Grandmothers lives over the years that inspired me to write the title track off my 2012 Album titled “Woman Of Red”. I have learned and believe that Women are the backbone of society so as a Woman I felt it was crucial to my own story to question and understand theirs. My Grandmothers grew up in the School being taught that they should be ashamed of who they were as Indigenous (Ojibway Nation) people. They faced abuse and not having their needs met during the most impressionable and tender years of their lives. As my Maternal Grandmother grew into Motherhood she loved to the best of her natural ability and instinct but admittedly wished she felt comfortable telling her children that she loved them as they were growing up. My Mother also raised us to the best of her natural ability and instinct with as much love as she could share. She was a strong solid single parent yet I could tell her heart was hurting and wasn’t quite sure of herself at times. I wanted to take what I was learning from them and also for them by investing that energy into healing myself from the Intergenerational Trauma. I could see the ghosts of my own ignorance and trauma beginning to haunt my children so I knew I had to fight for freedom and the future. It is said and I believe that when we heal ourselves, we contribute to the healing of all things, our ancestors, the land and resources, our children and all those to come.
Other challenges I faced over the years included being a life long subject of sexual abuse from the age of 6 up until the age of 36, an exchange of physical, emotional and psychological abuse in relationships, Mother and Father issues, exhibited lack of social, parenting and coping skills, emotional neglect of self and children, suicidal thoughts and attempts, carried frustration, anger and shame and projecting that on others, I’d self sabotage good things, addictive mentality, fear and loathing, depression, anxiety, loneliness and the wonder if I’d ever get to a place of understanding and loving myself after learning all I was up against and whether I could ever forgive myself let alone others. I persevered regardless. I was open to everything in order to succeed including being subject to hurtful ridicule, judgment and demeaning behaviour from others. Still I persevered and was resilient in the face of adversity.
I sometimes “desperately” exercised all possible practices presented to me for which I failed to grasp at times before I eventually succeeded. These included Co-dependency Treatment, On-going Counselling/Therapy, Parenting Skills, Indigenous Traditional Teachings & Practices, Learning to Listen, How to Apologize, Confidence & Creative based skills such as Dancing, learning how to use Make-up properly, posture, making music videos, dress-up, photo shoots, song writing, singing, performing, playing guitar and exchanging skills. I would go into Solitude at first in fear than eventually for self-love. I’d pray, cry, scream, meditate, learned to comfort myself, exercise and ate better. I utilized the power of the Internet to learn sound therapy, breathing techniques, positive affirmations and positive self-talk. I learned to connect with nature. The healing powers of the elements continue to help me to ground myself and cleanse my energy. Air, Earth, Water, Fire.
I learned that everything is Energy so I focused a lot on that fact to learn how to utilize its healing attributes for the betterment of self. I’m always learning and completely in awe of energy’s light and dark attributes. Learning about energy also helps tremendously to understand how we are responsible and have the power to emit, deflect and absorb. I’ve had many different dreams of Shaman’s teaching me how to harness energy but never understood why back then. These dreams over the years even before I began my healing journey were so vivid, frightening, powerful and surreal and make sense to me now.
I researched anything and everything that came to my awareness that I felt could help me get well. EMDR “Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing” Therapy helped immensely with my core trauma. It is an interactive psychotherapy technique used to relieve psychological stress. It is an effective treatment for trauma and post-traumatic stress disorder. That therapy helped me to identify my earliest core wounding than allowed me to “see” others who hurt me as more than a cause of pain but as wounded children themselves. It heightened my empathy, compassion and perspective. This led me to understanding than forgiveness.
Forgiveness also settled in by way of the darkness. Going through what is called “The Dark Night of The Soul” which I’ve learned is a spiritual depression, an internal crisis that is deep and painful but MUST be experienced before enlightenment. This is not just a one-time deal. This form of Death and Rebirth process happened many times over my 7-year journey. These purging experiences were physically, emotionally and at times excruciatingly painful yet equally gratifying were the lessons I learned after the process as well as the gift of knowing and loving myself a lot more with every layer of darkness I was exposed to. I learned to comfort myself after a bout of loathing and depression. I learned to allow my foreign feeling to flow than began to identify, recognize and verbalize them. I would punish myself for not understanding what I was going through than realize that I deserved to be patient with myself. I learned that I didn’t go through all of this as punishment. There is an absolute purpose for everything that happens. The key was to raise my consciousness to cultivate a healthier more spiritual perspective so I could fulfil my purpose in this lifetime. Also carrying with me ancestral and past life knowledge into this new World to share and exchange with pure healing intention. I plan on writing my autobiography to further detail these experiences in the near future.
I continue to raise my consciousness on this evolutionary journey of healing. I extend my heart, songs, and skills out to all of Humanity as we are all connected as Spirits but also by the human experience of trauma and triumph. After seven years of digging, healing self and doing my best to build healthier relationships with my children and others I have gained insight and clarity of my purpose. To share my life experiences, healing journey, creativity and love with others seeking inner peace, forgiveness and freedom.
Today I identify as a Creative Energetic Spirit of the Cosmos otherwise known as a Light worker. On the earthly physical plane I am an Indigenous Woman with mixed blood and “Oneness” in Spirituality for which my ancestry contributes without expectation but with guidance. I have evolved to see no such thing as separation, division or differences only commonality and connection in all people, places and things. My spirit, mind-set and faith feel unified and grounded in acceptance, higher consciousness and self-love therefore gifting me with the honour of being of service to Humanity. Everyone has a “life purpose” and none are greater or less than. We aren’t born knowing what that is “humanly” because we haven’t experienced “life’s lessons” yet to fully understand how to step into full power spiritually. The clarity will only come from you but in the moments of chaos and in stillness equally. You are the answer and the love that you have always been seeking. We are all eternally learning and growing both as students and teachers.